Boost Your Confidence in Three Simple Steps

What is Confidence?

Confidence is the ability to believe or have faith in something. In the same way you will march across a stone bridge after seeing others go before you or because you know stone bridges are sound so it is with confidence. Knowledge and experience are key.
Your confidence level stems from your personal belief in yourself. If you are comfortable with who you are and your abilities, confidence is unlikely to be an issue for you. Some people appear confident in everything they do, others have certain areas in life where they are unsure of themselves and their ability. Self preservation and an instinct for survival will make you fear uncertain situations. Understanding how confidence works and accepting that it will be limited when a situation is potentially dangerous or unknown but high when the facts are known and the situation is safe gives you a starting point to developing a more confident persona.
Know Yourself
To improve your confidence you need to strengthen your personal belief in yourself and your abilities. People who lack confidence often have low self-esteem or a limited belief in their ability to do something. This often stems from a negative thought pattern - possibly due to what others have repeatedly said, what the person deeply believes about themselves, from a negative experience or lack of knowledge or skills. So many people who lack confidence seek perfection in themselves. They often look at others and in the same way they focus on an imperfection or inability in themselves they focus on an ability or strength of the other person and fail to see other people's flaws.
To improve your confidence it is important to develop a more balanced view of yourself in your place in the world. Accept that you have imperfections and weaknesses, but you also have strengths. To start this process you have to believe you can change and you have to be motivated and committed to change. Bear in mind that years of personal conditioning will mean that you will insist on denying yourself any strengths. If you cannot do this yourself consider using a counsellor, life coach or hypnotherapist to help you.
Know Your Stuff
If your lack of confidence is more around your ability to do things then all you need to understand is that confidence comes with knowing your subject and practise. It is perfectly normal to be nervous tackling something outside of your experience. The key here is to gather as much information as possible, learn and practise. This may mean developing new skills. The key here is recognising where your weakness is and doing something about it. You will never improve if you do nothing.
If you are in a situation where this is not possible then learn to feel comfortable admitting to being human and fallible! If you make mistakes think of them as steps towards success - it does not make you a failure. It is said that Thomas Edison took 10,000 attempts at the light bulb until he got it right - now that is perseverance!
Jacky Tustain is a Life Coach based in the UK, specialising in helping people turn their life around through raising confidence and self esteem.
For Life Coaching information check out her BeCanDo website or for confidence training her Inner Confidence ecourse.
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Smile and Live Longer

What if I told you that smiling and being agreeable influences the length of your life in a positive way. On the other hand, being grumpy increases the likelihood of a violent death, heart disease, cancer etc. This is according to a recent report in American Psychologist. Dale Carnegie also says in his book - How to Win Friends and Influence People - "People who smile tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, they also raise happier children."
Another survey found that 75 per cent of respondents thought that an unattractive smile would be bad for their career. While a whopping 92 per cent said an attractive smile was a necessary social asset.
These sorts of reports have been around for years but many of the people that I come into contact with don't seem to have received the message. I've attended business networking meetings where many non smiley people look downright scary. And they wonder why they don't gain any benefit from their networking! Many of the people at my local health club look downright unhappy; you'd think they were there as some form of penance rather than as part of their fun and leisure time.
Of course many people don't smile because they're nervous; they lack confidence or have low self-esteem. Some people on the other hand actually believe they're smiling when the face they present to the world could actually turn milk sour.
Now I'm not suggesting that we all go around with big smiles on our face grinning inanely at people we hardly know. If you did that, then the men in white coats would soon be dragging you off to a place of detention. However, I am suggesting that we think about the face we present to other people. By sporting a warm smile at the appropriate time we can only smooth the path for the people we're dealing with. We also boost our own confidence and it allows us to relax and make the most of a situation.
Smiling also stimulates the release of endorphins, the body's feel-good chemicals, which has an ongoing positive effect. It's a two way neurological process; when you smile you literally become happier and when you're happier, you smile more. If someone gives you an unsolicited smile, you smile back and in this way we directly affect each other's moods. Switching on a smile will only bring benefits -you'll be happier and everyone else will be happier - so keep smiling
Alan Fairweather - The Motivation Doctor - is a professional speaker, author and business development expert. To receive your free newsletter and free ebooks, visit: http://www.themotivationdoctor.com/
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All Suffering Isn't Bad - Personal Growth Through Suffering

Things don't just happen randomly. If you're going through stuff and suffering, it's because God is allowing it. Remember Job?
If you are ill or you have lost a loved one, or you have lost your job, or you have had an accident, it doesn't mean that God is against you or that He's abandoned you. Your heavenly Father knows what you are going through, He knows that you are suffering.
Suffering isn't necessarily a test or a punishment or part of God's plan; yet the circumstances of your life aren't just chance events. They are not happening because God overlooked something either. Everything happens for a reason.
How do you make sense of suffering?
Often, all you need to do is to change your perspective and look at things from a different angle. When you change how you think about something it can help you to see things in an entirely different light. Ask God to help you see events through His eyes.
God is all powerful, He can do anything He wants to. If God isn't doing what you want, stop and ask yourself why not. Remember, He sees the beginning from the end, if He lets have your way there may be even worse things ahead.
Maybe what you want isn't really what's best. Or, maybe God is doing what you asked, perhaps it simply doesn't look quite as you expected it to.
Sometimes God isn't looking to change your circumstances, He's looking to use them and change you through them.
Remember that God knows everything and that He is always with youHe loves you and wants the best for you.
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11
"When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you." Isaiah 43:2If you are going through a difficult time, keep your eyes on God. Expect Him to walk with you through the circumstances and allow Him to use the circumstances to refine you. Draw comfort from God. God promises that He will restore your soul and that when you walk through trouble He will be with you. Look for Him there.
Allow your pain and suffering to strengthen you.
If you are suffering an injustice, wait for God to give you justice, don't take things into your own hands. Wait for God to act on your behalf and ask Him to give you patience while you wait.
Maybe God isn't doing what you want because He's waiting for you to learn something and to change. You can shorten the wait by cooperating with God and looking for God's purpose in allowing the situation.
Sometimes God allows suffering to get your attention. If that's what He's doing, it's for your good.
Whatever you are facing, know that God loves you. He's not out to harm you. Although it might seem impossible, ultimately, everything does work together for good to those who love God. God will use your suffering to strengthen and refine you, if you let Him.
You'll find more articles at http://www.christianlifecoaching.co.uk
When you subscribe to my free newsletter - The 5 Minute Life Coach, I'll send you a valuable free guide - Be Your Own Life Coach Now. This step by step guide will help you to start transforming your life straight away.Lynne Lee is a Christian life coach and spiritual mentor. She helps people to re-design their lives around what matters most.
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