Monday, March 16, 2009

Love is an Art

Many people would say that the most important thing in human's life is love. The absence of love causes most of the problems we have. But in order to love and be loved the first thing we have to do is to be honest with ourselves. Not expressing and showing our feelings is not a sign of courage. To show other people who you really are is a sign of incredible courage.
Of course it is not always possible to express your feelings the way you like but no one can ever stop you to be yourself. As a matter of fact, people who are not honest to themselves, they can't be honest to the others - they will betray their husbands, friends etc. But love is an art. We all agree that to live means to love. But love is not a permanent joy. Many couples will say that mostly love has failed. And that is true. And which fault is that? It is our own fault. If love failed that means that we did not make any efforts to keep her alive. But what we can do about it? And what does love need in order not to fail? First of all, a couple has to share life and experience, seriously get involved in each other lives.
Involvement is communication, connection between two people. Communication is the essence of love. Love is involvement and involvement is communication. So we don't have to look for love but for unity, solidarity. In order to achieve love, we have to achieve first maximum honesty and clarity. And this is incredibly difficult. There are two types of communication. The first one is to share emotions and feelings. This is called dialogue. The second one is to share thoughts, discuss plans or to take decisions together. This is called discussion. For love partners is very important to achieve emotional clarity first and only then to start discussions. It is obvious that people who love each other can survive different opinions. Break-ups usually occur as a result of emotional problems.
But if you get angry with something your partner did, please tell him/her exactly how you feel. Otherwise they will never know and they will not understand what happened. Very often people get angry with love and with their partners since they feel their self respect is in danger and under a threat. Then speak! Unspoken and unexpressed feelings are going to block the open and honest discussions. But to know somebody we need to know his/her feelings because feelings are unique. My feelings are only mine and nobody else's, your feelings are only yours etc. Nobody could possibly know them unless we talk and share, unless there is a dialogue. My emotions are the key to my soul, to me. Of course, it is scary to allow somebody to know you that much and to pray he/she will accept you the way you are. But this is the right way. So we have to be brave and we'll love and be loved.
Iavor Angelov is a webmaster, content writer and programmer.
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